After Your Wedding Day…
Now that all your months of planning your wedding day has resulted in a grand affair, you can finally call yourselves legally hitched, blessed and celebrated. It sure went by fast, didn’t it?
How do you settle into the rhythm of being committed to each other for life, let go of who you were and launch yourselves into who you ARE as a married couple now?
As in many things, there are actions you can take to help ease into the psychological change of moving from elation to everyday life. Experts, (including me) have suggestions to help you make expected and unforseen adjustments. Of the few I’ll start with here, let’s begin with appreciation.
Thank you for…
You wouldn’t be the odd one out if you dreaded writing 50-150 personalized notes. However, the deed must be done. Looking at this task as a dive into appreciating all those who shared your wedding day, rather than looking at it as a draining chore, can actually be an activity that helps your energy level. Being truly thankful is always a good thing! Get to this positive task sooner than later, within a month after you return from your honeymoon.
You CAN cut yourself some slack though not too much. If you can get them all out by your two-month anniversary, both you and your guests will be happy. You can make the duty more manageable if you divide and conquer. Agree to each put aside fifteen minutes daily (or every other day) and you can probably whip them out at a rate of ten a day. You’ll be done in the allotted two months. Even better, open a bottle of wine, do it together, and soon you’ll be checking out photos and back to using all your new gadgets and gifts rather than writing about them.
Oh, and while you’re saying thank you, be sure to share your new address with family and friends. You wouldn’t want to miss out on that ugly sweater holiday card from your cousin Ashley, would you?
Treat love as a verb
Treat love as a verb, an action. A friend of mine once told me he and his wife of many years had an ongoing contest to see who could pamper the other the most each day. They started it right after their wedding day. They were continually surprising and delighting each other. Consequently they enthusiastically reported they NEVER took each other for granted.
Love is not just a feeling. Love likes to show itself in both big and little ways. So know that small kindnesses can mean as much or more than a big splashy present or event. A solid marriage is more often the result of what Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People) called, “deposits in the emotional bank account.” A steady accumulation of little gestures of appreciation and small surprises go a long way, and when one of you have a really off day or week, you make a withdrawal from your memories of the big and little things you’ve received. After the “I do’s”, keep your love alive by vowing to look for little ways to make your partner’s life a bit sweeter every day.
Plan Something New
The Knot, a great wedding site has this suggestion:
Last but definitely not least start planning something new to look forward to. It will help ward off post-wedding blues and you’ll put those organizational skills acquired over the past year to good use. Invite friends over for a happy hour to christen your new barware, throw an après-wedding name change bash, or start researching ideas for a one year anniversary vacation. And don’t forget to update your wedding website so you can start counting down to the next milestone.
After Your Wedding Day, What Now?
You’re on a great adventure. I am so happy for you, and love the courage and depth of the commitment you’ve made to each other. This is one thing I truly know for you: All relationships have ups and downs. You have within you all you will need to make it through them all. You just have to trust that ideas and people will come to you to inspire and guide you. Maybe that happens by the right book jumping off the shelf near you, the best YouTube video showing up on your feed, or a good friend calls you at just the right time. You’ve committed to love. Now let Love have it’s future through you.