New Identity

My new identity as a secretary in 1987

Your New Identity as a Married Person

When you get married, even if you have been living together for a long time, you are letting go of your old identity as a single person. The good news is you will always maintain your identity as an individual.  And the good news is you will take on a new identity. This is inevitable. And much more pleasant if you go with it and let it unfold. But to fight it is to invite misery.

As a married couple, you have new advantages. But without releasing the old, in time, you may come up against inner objections. Perhaps that you aren’t able to do what you used to do. Or be who you used to be without the same responsibilities. When and if children enter the picture, the joys of loving and being loved by such a small being that you helped create is awesome. This change also demands that you let go of the way things used to be. 

But you never owe anyone anything. Your changing is a gift first to yourself, then you can truly let go and be present totally in the moment.

EXCITING NEWS:  This fall and winter, I am going to begin my meditation and prosperity coaching practice for couples and individuals. I am offering these two starting points: “Meditation for a Magnificent Marriage” and “Prosperous Partners in Love and Life.” I will be sending along more details as well as dates and times for a free session soon. Please stay tuned!

Freeing Power of Letting Go

This quote by Steve Maraboli applies not only to other people, but can you see how it also applies to letting go of the who you have been? What would your life be like if you could let go of everything in your past, even all the great stuff, and just be yourself TODAY? Think about it. You could be anyone you wanted to be, especially that wonderful person you know in your heart you are.

Steve Maraboli: “Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are part of your history, but not part of your destiny.”

Questioning Beliefs for Maximum Peace

I love the work of Byron Katie. I use her work in my Spiritual Relationship program. Letting go involves questioning the beliefs we hold that cause our inner war which manifests as distancing from another person. Here is an introduction to her work on YouTube. If you can “get” what Katie is talking about, you will have the fabulous relationship you desire. Your new identity as a couple will take on new and amazing depths.

Mindful Meditation and Your New Identity

Mindfulness is a form of meditation that has been around for a long time, but has been gaining recognition by celebrities and regular folks like you and me everywhere. Explore mindfulness through ACT: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I could do without the word “therapy” but it boils mindfulness down to three basic stages:

1) defusion: distancing from, and letting go of, unhelpful thoughts, beliefs and memories 

2) acceptance: making room for painful feelings, urges and sensations, and allowing them to come and go without a struggle 

3) contact with the present moment: engaging fully with your here-and-now experience, with an attitude of openness and curiosity 

Check out mindfulness at ACT

There is so much to support you as you move through life and take on new identity after new identity. Have fun with this! Life is meant to be explored and experienced. Who you are today will not be who you are in a year or five years. You and your partner, me, your folks, your friends, your enemies — all are continually learning, growing, loving and being loved. Let go. Open up. Enjoy.

Keep on, rock on, let’s do it!

All is well, and life sure is good.