Have you ever taken a personality test? If so you may have used one of the most popular ones, the Myers Briggs personality inventory tool. There are 16 distinctive personality types. At one time this questionnaire seemed to pop up all over the place. The free test is designed to help us understand the people we are in relationship with as well as one’s self.
My parents took the Myers Briggs test at a couples’ workshop some 20 years ago (has it been THAT long ago?). Through the results, they had a lot of aha’s and “oh that’s why you are that way!” moments. They benefited from the results and their practice for many, many years until Dad passed away in 203.
In these 16 personality types, I can usually spot the two personality types that deal with Structure. This preference deals with how people interact with the outer world. One is called the “P” or “Perceiving personality” balanced by the “J” or “Judging personality” type.
The “P’s” like to wait until the last minute to get things done. The “J’s” (full disclosure — I’m a “J”) like things planned out in advance. Both work, and we usually have both types at work within us off and on. But one is usually “on” more than the other. To get along, the different types have to understand where the other is coming from and vice versa.
There are areas of my life when it is absolutely necessary that I give my J self full reign. Like working on the structure of my businesses. But creating the content is where I need to let my P side come out. Occasionally letting my order-loving self set an outline or flow-chart up to help focus my creative side is helpful. But letting form get in the way of creativity is more inhibiting than freeing.
One of you may be be the creative force in your relationship. The other is the “grounded” one, or the J partner. My guess is you have already realized which one of you plays which role and have figured out how to manage your different styles of looking at the world. If you have, then frustration and getting plain ol’ perturbed with each other can be tempered. Peace, harmony, good vibes abound. If not, you may have some resentment and rebellion going on.
Take the Myers Briggs test! Try it out.
What is curious
Because partners in marriage often balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses, “J’s” and “P’s” often marry each other. So do introverts and extroverts. Different styles may be endearing at first. But sometimes, they eventually get on you nerves, especially when there is pressure to get things done. If you are both “P’s”, no worry. If you are both “J’s”, no worry there either.
J’s and P’s in wedding planning
But if one of you is a J, the other a P, take a tip from the J’s: start planning your wedding early. Book your vendors now. The earlier – believe me, the better. You will have more options the earlier you start. From busy florists to DJ’s to caterers, to your beloved wedding minister – you will have a better chance of matching up with the team that understands you and wants to work with you the earlier you start.
But let the P partner be in charge of design if he or she isn’t already. Have fun with the designing. Get loose my fellow J-birds! Let your Perceptor’s flag fly.
Remember — Fun = good. Stress = not good for your mind, body or soul.
Coordinators can help with planning your wedding early
If you are both creative types, here is where hiring a wedding coordinator (and I have several to recommend) can be helpful. Even though it may seem having a coordinator is more expensive, getting her or him on board actually saves money because they have developed relationships with many local vendors. Generally they give each other deals on services. The investment you make in a coordinator can be made up by discounted prices. Otherwise you have to do all the research, then the wheeling and dealing. Your wedding day is going to be one of the biggest events of your life. Let it be as happy an event as possible from start to finish.
Getting your “J’s” and “P’s” in a row
In the final months before your ceremony you will have lots of things to take care of. It is amazing how many last minute details come up. So please don’t wait to book your the team you need for your wedding day celebration. Because you have already booked me, YOU ARE SO LUCKY!!! And you have nothing to worry about. In other areas, get your ducks, if not the “P’s” in a row. P’s may want to delegate the tasks that need lots of order to their “J” partners. “J’s” you will find it smart to leave the designing up to your “P” person.
Either way, start planning your wedding early. I know you will feel more balanced and have more fun.
Photo courtesy of adamr, FreeDigitalPhotos.com