Most couples get married as they’re building their career. The kids are little. Bodies are changing. So you can get into a habit of passing each other by and not REALLY know what’s going on with each other.
So Commandment #4 is about setting up a weekly relationship check in with each other.
Somewhat like dating, this is a time together that you guard with your life. It could be a ½ hour time period before you go to bed on a Friday night. Or over coffee on Sunday morning.
There’s 4 questions to ask of each other
- What was the best thing that happened to you this week?
- What was the worst thing that happened this week?
- How can I be supportive of you this coming week?
- What could I have asked you that I didn’t?
Any one of these can be a great conversation starter. But the important thing is each one and especially in combination are asking for the good and the bad, the past and the future.
This check in lets your partner know you have her or his back.
I’ve done this with my past boyfriends. And it works. It really gets those warm fuzzies going and sometimes even more…and I know you know what I mean!
Get into the Habit
To get into the habit of regularly doing a relationship check in, give yourselves a reward for making this commandment into a habit.
Donate $10 to your local animal shelter or volunteer for an hour at a favorite charity when you do it. Even if you add those volunteer hours or dollars up and do it once a month, that’s a great win.
Or one of you takes the dog out for a walk while the other takes a hot bath.
Get a couple’s massage.
Give yourself a check on a fun graph you make and when you have 10 checks on the graph, go out to dinner or a movie.
The Commandment’s purpose is to keep the lines of communication open, to avoid getting into any habit of not paying attention to each other because of time or pressure.
And when this becomes a habit, well … you may get lucky more often.
Let me know how using this Commandment dedicated to your relationship check in goes! I’d love to hear from you! Contact me if you are looking for a professionally delivered and heart-felt ceremony for your wedding.
Love to you,
Rev Crystal Y