Toll of Perfectionism

Powerful, Self-Image Changes to Make This Winter For me, one of the best times of the year is early spring, when plants and animals shake off the cold winter and bring back life to our environment. What a great metaphor for all of us. It’s the time I get to start putting words together to form a ceremony as weddings begin to take place after a winter of meeting, planning, and interviewing morphs into the day of… But I’m also fond of the fall, when the leaves are changing. When all life is prepared to tuck in and wait out… Read More »


So much to be thankful for

The Things I’m Thankful for as a Wedding Officiant Life has an interesting way of reminding us to appreciate those things that we sometimes take for granted. Many years ago, when I first started on this career, I didn’t have money to make my new mortgage payment. I barely had food for myself or my two dogs in my refrigerator. I was too proud to ask my friends or family for help. I’d just left my church in Atlanta, GA. I foolishly  athought everyone was going to follow me into my new endeavors. They did not. Here it comes, the… Read More »


Be Grateful for decisions  Even the ones that challenge your sanity! It’s November. Which is National Gratitude Month in the United States. And a perfect time to share a few thoughts about the power of gratitude. Specifically, how a grateful heart can help you continue to effectively plan your wedding day, despite the holiday pressures and keep moving forward towards your amazing special day. Let’s talk about why gratitude is such a life-changing emotion. An article from Psychology Today said:  For starters, gratitude improves your physical health. When you’re grateful that you’ve got so many awesome options to choose from, instead… Read More »


Take a break from perfection

Break from perfection  I’ve seen it happen too many times:  Brides and Grooms want everything to be perfect. Then —  they get picky with each other. Demanding or even withdrawn from friends and family.  They may suffer from DIOMO (Do It on My Own) Loose sleep and precious time together that they’ll never get back.  Truthfully, the only thing I know of to avoid wedding planning tension and the stressful disconnect from loving each other is to elope and have a little wedding. But even an elopement must be thought through. Wedding blues Oh man, I love weddings, big, small… Read More »


The power of the compliment

Hear the power of a compliment I love to hear this:  “After our ceremony was over, multiple people commented on what a wonderful job [Rev Crystal] did. ” Or “Reverend Crystal was incredible! Everyone in our wedding party commented on how she did an amazing job.” And dare I toot my horn just a bit more: “I had so many people come up to me and my husband complimenting us on how beautiful our ceremony was, and how it spoke to who we are. From the devote Catholic guests to the not so religious, everyone enjoyed our ceremony.”   Happy as… Read More »


Who “Should” Walk a Bride Down the Aisle?

walked down the aisle

Walked Down the Aisle When Lauren walked down the aisle at her wedding with 14 attendants, and 250 guests, her brother escorted her down her once in a lifetime entrance. Although her father sat in the first row, he’d never been a big part of her life, nor a very positive force in her life.   Despite the “shoulds” she’d been subjected to and which you can read your own emphasis into, (“He’s your FATHER!  He should walk you down the aisle,”) Lauren decided to forego tradition. Instead she picked the person who’d been by her side, comforted and laughed… Read More »


What’s Short and Sweet mean to you?

Short and Sweet

You have something in mind when you ask me for a short and sweet ceremony Often a couple will tell me in their first email they want a simple, short and sweet ceremony. I used to make assumptions about what that meant.  Short translated to about 5 minutes long and sweet meant romantic. Short and sweet is relative  But if the couple was from a Catholic background, short meant about 30 – 45 minutes because they’re used to long masses with kneeling and standing and singing and responsive readings, etc. A Catholic mass takes time to get through. Likewise, a… Read More »


Twists on Traditions

Twists on Traditions video snapshot

Contemporary Twists on Traditions You’ve heard that every couple should have something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue? Well, The Knot Magazine, Michigan — Fall, 2019, has a fun article about new twists on traditions. And I’m all in! Couples don’t HAVE to stick with the super traditional any longer. Creating your own twists on traditions can make your wedding truly one of a kind from start to finish. A bride’s gown doesn’t have to be a ballgown. I’m not a fan of too sexy, but some brides are all about sexy, and as long as grandma won’t faint,… Read More »


Relationship Commandment #1

Keep dating

#1 — You must keep dating By the time your wedding rolls around, you will have a pile of memories to build on.  A good Officiant will draw from those memories you’ve shared and set them out as a gift to your guests for them to draw on.  Over time, this pool of memories gets used and worn.  You must keep replacing these memories by making new ones.  Dating gave you the way to make memories.  Remember the date you went on that led to the first kiss? The first time you made love? The time you left each other… Read More »


Pick your battles #2 commandment

Picking how you battle

Commandment #2  Don’t pick your battles, pick the way you’ll work through them. When you live with someone, you learn what not to talk about and what subjects are safe to bring up. Don’t talk about sex with your parents, keep away from politics with your mother’s brother. If you comment to your best friend that she was late again for your lunch meeting, she might give you the cold shoulder for a week or so. Not the best communicator, is she? Or IS she? When you live with anyone for a long period of time, disagreements are bound to… Read More »


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