Why I Became a Wedding Officiant

Sometimes people ask me how and why I became a wedding officiant. So here’s the story, short and sweet. Firstly, because I was a minister in a church, weddings were part of the job. But only part. So it started there.  In the Pulpit I’ve led five different churches in 23 years (three in Georgia, two in Michigan). The cons of church life for me were: struggles with being a role model, dealing with the differences between religion and spirituality, navigating the waters stirred up by the many personalities that come through and leave the doors of a church, and… Read More »

Assumption of Ordination

What Assumption of Ordination am I Referring To??? Sometimes I wonder if I think conducting a wedding is more important than it is. Haven’t we all been so close to something and we make assumptions of its importance when it doesn’t mean much at all? Ordination certainly fits into that category these days given rock stars and TV celebrities are doing weddings for fans and family more often than not. When I talk with new brides or grooms, there’s times I get the feeling the ceremony that makes their relationship legal and official is no big deal to them. This especially… Read More »

Down the Road

There is a wonderful little park not far down the road from my house in Williamsburg. It’s called Deepwater Point. This pine forest makes for a level hiking area which my knees and older dogs appreciate. There’s big roots that jut out along the paths, and lots of big tall pines. After traipsing through the woods, the path opens out onto a nice view of East Bay. When I need to be by the water to hear that lapping sound of the waves on the shore, or see the glitter of the sun on the surface, I’ll take Dutch and… Read More »

Are You Spiritual or Religious?

Do You Know the Difference Between Being Spiritual or Religious? Does it matter? 100 years ago in this country people who loved each other couldn’t or wouldn’t get married because they loved someone who wasn’t the same religion as they were. But today, but at least in our society, couples have much more freedom to choose whether they are spiritual or religious. Or their own unique combination of both. Your marriage ceremony should reflect how you define yourself, and how this will be reflected in the words of your ceremony. When I interview a couple, I never assume whether they are spiritual or… Read More »

Make the Choice, Don’t Worry About It

If you ever get the chance to make the choice to live around the 45th Parallel, you will REALLY learn to appreciate summer. Being outside, smelling the air, hearing the waves on the beach nearby. Humming to nature. There’s nothing anywhere else in the country that equals the beauty here in the Traverse City area. Summer Do’s In summer, life seems to speed up but the change of pace is because our focus goes from inner (where it’s slower) to outer (where movement and choices make time pass quicker). The summertime is where the yes’s to the opportunities of life we chose during the inward journey of winter… Read More »

Best Foot Forward at Gay Weddings

Gay Weddings Are No Different Lesbian and gay weddings are no different from opposite sex weddings. Yet you may feel unprepared for a gay wedding you have been invited to. As I reported in the first part of this series, I started out on rocky though well-intentioned ground when I was first introduced to gay people. I didn’t want to be uneasy, but I was — for a while. Maybe you do feel uneasy, though I hope you don’t. We make too much out of things that are none of our business. But here we are, finding out how human we all… Read More »

Gay Love, Gay Weddings

Gay Love Appears Truly accepting gay love was a process for me. It was an idea that hadn’t been touched by experience. As a hippie, I debated legalizing pot, supported free love as often as I could. I was unaware that the closer I put the stereo speakers to my ears when Janice Joplin or Jimi Hendrix albums played, the less I could hear when I was older. I demonstrated against the war in Vietnam, joined the 1969 March on Washington. I was politically correct and I was politically upset. When I decided to learn how to shoot a gun… Read More »

21 Unique Dates

… to Keep Your Marriage Interesting Download here:  21 Unique Dates Over the years I have asked my couples what issues bother them the most. (I’d love to hear from you on this subject too). More than anything else they tell me not having enough time to spend together is a sore spot. Is this true for you too? Because life happens despite our hopes and best plans. Getting a grip on success curls up around our toes and we trip over making connections with people we can help or can help us. Our best plans are pushed aside for seemingly urgent calls… Read More »

Tapping into Millenniums’ Power

When you go to a sports event how many of you get caught up in the energy of the moment? Have you found yourself uncharacteristically screaming at the top of your lungs for the runner to slide into home plate? Or the quarterback to hurry up and pass the football to the running back? There are no sports genes in my body, and yet I too have found myself caught up at events, waving my hands and getting extremely excited – and that’s NOT my usual MO. Exciting Situations Why does this happen? Because you and I – everyone —… Read More »

Happiness Is

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Mahatma Gandhi In September, as I was preparing to perform a wedding ceremony, I was inspired to begin including in my wedding words something new.  For me anyway… “You are called not to make each other happy, but to be happy together.” I know this may sound contrary to much of what couples love about being together. Many of them tell me, “He or she makes me so happy.” This sentiment and feeling is real. And it’s a wonderful feeling to have. But the reality is… Read More »

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