The Problem of Perfectionism

Disconnect from PerfectionThe problem of perfectionism

If you’re engaged and planning a wedding and celebration, perfectionism has probably seduced you already. You’re on course to ruin your day if you need to have everything perfect.

Perfectionism drowns your special day in unrealistic expectations. 

The red flags are there. You and your partner pick on each other. Few seem to understand what you’re going through. If the allure of perfectionism is strong enough, any possibility that your vision won’t come together could lead you to withdraw from friends and family. 

The drive for perfection is strong. You think when every detail is in the right place at the right time that gives you respect and makes sure everyone enjoys the celebration.

DIOMO strikes

What makes it all worse, is you may be suffering from DIOMO (Do It on My Own)

DIOMO shows up by not getting enough sleep because you’re planning, rearranging, and designing. And this takes away this precious time you’ll never get back. 

Truthfully, the best thing I know of to avoid wedding planning perfectionism and the stressful disconnect from loving each other is to elope and have a little wedding, somewhere. But even an elopement needs to be thought through. (especially having a Plan B).Teamwork

Ask for help. Give yourself a break. This is one day out of many. Those who love you understand.

Wedding blues

I’m glad I don’t have to plan a wedding.

But because over the 35 plus years I’ve been officiating and more than 60 years of life under my belt, I know that the problem of perfectionism is how it robs our joy. Worrying about every little thing that won’t mean diddly squat a few years down the road needs to be kept in mind. 

Experience and ideas to offset perfectionism

As your officiant, I give you my best, my experience and ideas. When we talk together, while I never ever claim to be perfect, you can be confident the ceremony that begins your wedding day will set the tone for a great day. It can flow in a wonderful way so you are comfortable and confident. 

Comfortable, not perfect. 

I have some great questions I use to investigate the amazing people you both are and find out what matters to you, and how you came to the place you were ready, willing and able to say “I do” to each other.


Photo by insung yoon on Unsplash


There are important truths to keep in mind so you can take a break from perfectionism. These  are the reasons to keep in heart and mind for The Day.

  1. Two people out of all the billions in the world found each other.
  2. They’ve discovered a depth of love in one another that they’re willing to say forever to. 

These are important ideas to remember the lead you to marry each other.

Set of Reminders

I can help you solve the problem of perfectionism and have a more relaxed and beautiful day. To discuss your needs, be sure to fill out our Contact Us form. A minimum of information is needed to find out what we offer. We can schedule a time to talk with no obligation.

I want you to have a truly extraordinary wedding day.

Remember, you deserve to be happy. Focus on love because love is what brought you together, not being perfect people. The right color napkins won’t even be an issue when you’re celebrating your love ten years down the road!

Northern MIchigan Wedding Officiant

Rev Crystal

Crystal Yarlott, Lead Officiant

I have 35 years of experience leading wedding ceremonies. Certainly I would LOVE to lead yours! Contact me and let’s see if we’re a fit! And visit us on Facebook @MichiganWeddingOfficiant



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