Privacy is an important word these days. When websites suggest items they think we would like to purchase, it’s because what we’ve bought in the past is no longer private. Have you ever donated to an organization because you support their cause? But soon afterwards, ten letters from similar organizations asking for a donation of their own show up? Again, the types of causes you give your money to is no longer just between you and Goodwill or Helping Hands or Horses for Happiness. My mailbox never sees a day go by when I don’t get a solicitation from an animal rescue organization. If I could I would give to them all. Especially animal rescues. But aside from the amount of money needed to give to all of them, my gift would bring in more requests. Truly, nothing is private, let alone, sacred anymore.

Do you want to run for public office, even be in the public eye somehow? If so, kiss your privacy goodbye. You will be watched and judged. Perhaps avoiding judgment and complications is a very valid reason to keep one’s life private.

What is Privacy?

My online dictionary, LexicEN, defines privacy as “the quality of being secluded from the presence or view of others, and the condition of being concealed or hidden.” But aren’t there things we would all like hidden from others? Not just our purchasing and donating preferences, but facts about our life, or things we have said or done, what calls we made to whom and when? For the most part, I’ve found that concealing who I am leads to misunderstandings, assumptions and mistrust. Slowly but surely I am learning my opinion is just as valid as anyone elses. Be who I am and let the chips fall where they may. But still. Should I share everything about myself? And is there a time when telling a secret could make things worse rather than better? Would revealing to someone what I did in the past help or harm our relationship?

As a couple, a similar question is posed this week. And truly — there are no wrong or right answers. So take some time to consider the following. If discussion of whether you want to keep your answers to yourself or share them is in order first, then decide this first. Then answer this question:

What areas of your life do you intend to keep private, and not necessarily share with your partner?


Again, there are no right or wrong answers. This is YOUR life, and YOUR marriage. Do it YOUR way. Determine the level of privacy you are comfortable with. Define and discuss, then honor it with your mate. As for me, whatever you decide about your privacy, I won’t tell a soul.