Too many years ago, the way I wanted to own my moment on my wedding day, was to wear jeans and no veil.

And my bridesmaids would be dressed in the colors of a political movement I supported. But that was again, way back when.

FYI- My folks would have nothing of that plan (they’d have paid the bill) so not only did that design fail, but my boyfriend and I decided NOT to get married period. We’d keep living together. Which, BTW was a much bigger deal back then, than “cohabitating” is today. 

Own Your Moment — What excites YOU?

Do you want to go as far as I wanted to with politics and odd colors to own your own moment?

Of course not. But yes, you can even go further if you like. 

You, my contemporary couple, truly have the freedom to put together with your Officiant the kind of ceremony that expresses who you are. 

(Get our Checklist to help you pick the right professional:  How to Choose the Right Officiant)

---

Short List of Options

Here’s a list of some of your freedoms as a bride:

• Wear whatever color gown or not gown you want
• Don a tux, a kilt, a suit, a polo shirt
• Wear heels or flats or go barefoot
• Walk down the aisle with or without an escort, a mom, dad, brother, cousin, best friend or pup
• Have people stand or sit or dance around as you enter
  
  

  Wisdom and Doug, stormy day on the Nauticat in the Clinch Park Marina

• Attendants participate in the ceremony or they stand there dressed up like luscious eye candy
• Instead of flowers bridesmaids carry puppies up for adoption, groomsmen lead full-grown dogs needing adoption or vice versa
• Get married on a beach, a boat, in a church, in your backyard
• Be presented to each other as equals choosing each other or go traditional
• Have a humorous or a reverent ceremony
• Mention God or don’t mention a higher power
• Exchange traditional vows or create totally unique vows you repeat as your officiant guides you or write your own vows
• Exchange rings or instead, exchange hats, belts, shawls, ribbons or cords
• Be pronounced hitched or married or husband and wife, man and woman, woman and woman, joined at the hip, independent and free to be as you please with each other, etc.
• Either of you can change your last name or neither of you do, or create a totally new last name.

This list barely scratches the surface of options available to today’s about-to-be-married couple. You. You can be as different or as traditional as you want to be.

Your Own is Your Choice

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with going traditional nor is there anything out of place about creating a truly customized ceremony.

Pro’s and Cons

Pro about going traditional as the way to own your moment:  With so much else going on, a ceremony means you have less details to take care, no big decisions to make about process or content.

Con about going traditional: it’s pretty boring and means the party is what matters, not the commitment

Pro about being unique:  Your ceremony become an expression of not only your outer preferences but also your values and ideals.

Con about unique as the way to own your moment:  It takes more time and energy to gather options and put together a plan.

Make sure your Officiant gets YOU

Whether you own your moment by going totally unique, pepper your ceremony with contemporary touches or you stick with traditional, always make sure your Officiant gets you, has the ability to guide you through the parts you don’t know what to do with, and feels like someone you can trust.

To help you find an Officiant who helps you own your moment, get our How to Choose the Right Officiant Checklist so you’ll know what questions to ask your potential officiants.

Even if you don’t choose a Northern Michigan Wedding Officiant, we support you in finding the person who does. Because saying I DO is a big deal. And you need the right officiant to support and lead you when you make that commitment.

BTW: Congrats on finding your life’s partner. That’s awesome!

Get your Checklist Now

Or feel free to fill out our easy peazy Contact Us form. We’d be glad to chat or answer your questions via email. We’ll help you as much or as little as you want. 

Happy for you always!

Rev. Crystal
Founder, Northern Michigan Wedding Officiants

 

Powerful, Self-Image Changes to Make This Winter

For me, one of the best times of the year is early spring, when plants and animals shake off the cold winter and bring back life to our environment.

What a great metaphor for all of us. It’s the time I get to start putting words together to form a ceremony as weddings begin to take place after a winter of meeting, planning, and interviewing morphs into the day of…

But I’m also fond of the fall, when the leaves are changing. When all life is prepared to tuck in and wait out the long winter months. Seeing the leaves change colors motivates me to make some changes in my own life.

As a wedding officiant, one of the changes I’d like to see my more detail, planning crazy couples make…is a shift in how they perceive themselves. 

Today’s duo’s put tremendous pressure on themselves to have the perfectly executed ceremony.

What is perfectionism?

According to Psychology Today,

“Perfectionism is driven primarily by internal pressures such as the desire to avoid failure or harsh judgment.” 

If you feel this kind of pressure, there’s steps you can take NOW to get yourself off the hook. It may seem surprising and these steps disconnected from your wedding plans, but hang in there.

Kick to the Curb

For your entire planning process from start to day of, for society to be healthy and for more people to find true happiness, we’ve got to kick the pressures of perfectionism to the curb and change the way we view ourselves and the function of our wedding day.

That’s why I’ve put together a few simple steps for helping you view the process in a positive light.

Step 1 – Turn off the TV– Facebook — Instagram — and your phone.

You’ll feel the way you’re continually taught to feel. And while it may be fun to binge watch Netflix once in awhile, or connect with old friends online, your overall health will benefit from more natural settings.

Hang out with friends. Play with some kids. Find the people who love you for you and spend time with them. Perfectionism isn’t real. What your friends and family say about you? That’s real. So start there.

Abby went on a 4 week social media fast. At the end of the 4 weeks, Abby reported sleeping better, eating healthier – by choice, and having more energy to accomplish things throughout the day.

She didn’t do anything extraordinary. Abby simply distanced herself from those things that were causing her negative self-talk that bought into perfectionism.

Step 2 – Make a list of qualities you enjoy about yourself.

None of us spend enough time being grateful for what we have. And yet, all of the statistics say that gratitude has a ton of benefits: better physical health, better mental health, better sleep, etc.

By writing down the qualities you like about yourself, you’re expressing gratitude for those things that make you special. And the results will work wonders.

John had let two failed marriages convince him he was not a person worth loving. By writing at least one positive thing about himself in his journal each day, John realized he had value and could let himself love again. He’s now in his third marriage and reports things are going better than he ever could have imagined.

Because he learned to love himself first.

Step 3 – Compliment others.

You know how good it feels when someone gives you a compliment? It’s great, right? And if we’re surrounded by people who continually compliment us, our self-esteem might soar.

But did you realize you can get the same physiological reaction from complimenting someone else?

Imagine what the world would be like if each of us had a goal to offer at least five sincere compliments throughout our day. But sometimes compliments make us feel awkward and uncomfortable.

Well…get over it.

That person with the flower in her ear needs to hear how it makes her look youthful and beautiful. That boy with his eyes downcast needs to know what a great friend he is.

Compliment others regularly and you’ll see your self-esteem grow and quiet the demands of perfectionism.

Can you go with the flow?

Look, change is hard. If it were easy, everyone would feel great about themselves. People would go with the flow and perfectionism would lose its grip on our hearts. But most of us never reach those goals. Because it takes work!

There’s a reason leaves fall off the trees in the autumn and animals prep for the winter. It’s so they can

emerge every spring new, refreshed, and ready to bloom. They put in the work now so they can enjoy the results later.

If you need help easing the pressure of perfectionism, then Contact me.

It’s your season for change. And I can’t wait to help you!

 

Contact me and depending on the stage you’re at in planning your wedding day, whether it’s fall or spring —  whether we’re a fit. 

Happy for you,