It’s noble that we think God needs our help. Those of us who believe we are doing God’s work, have to be super careful it’s not an ego trip we are on. Being taken up with our own importance. A weak sense of self being bolstered because we think others will approve of us for what we do. God doesn’t need our help. God needs us to be gentle and kind, strong and forgiving. Centered and sane. An expression of unconditional love.

All these are tall orders and one that takes daily practice to even begin to live up to them. I get it. Loving is not always easy. But loving is never about violence.

What I Can’t Control is People

So I am saddened when something I cannot control like a crazy person thinking she or he is doing God’s work by killing people plays their warped hand again. I don’t brandish a gun but I often brandish words and opinions. Though I might not be aware of it, my butting into people’s lives with “you should”, it’s a popular notion of being helpful. But often it is nothing more than my personal opinion which is a reflection of my own experiences.

Not theirs.

Inner and Outer Truth

This is the danger in judging from the outside what I think is going on with someone on the inside. Which if honest, I am doing myself right now. So I can get knocked on my metaphysical behind because I often know very little what another person has been through. Judging someone can be understandable though, because many of us put up a good front. So who can blame us for making a mistaken judgment. How many of us are really ourself? Often our life partner is one of the few people we are really our self with.

Mostly people are good on the inside, want to love and be loved. A bit crazed by the all the inconsistencies we all have to reconcile in our own mind. But we have weird ways of expressing our goodness. Our minds have been held hostage by the words and actions of others. Put God in the mix and we have double trouble. Because when a person says God told him or her to say something unkind, or do a violent act, that usually means the end of the conversation.

There’s no arguing with God.

Because the Orlando gunman who swore his allegiance to ISIS (who say they believe in the true Islam), this killing morphed into his helping God out. When violence is acted out in the name of God, it says God has lost control of the world. These gay people are sinning against God. So he essentially said by his actions he would help God because God would sanction him killing them and helping to wipe the LGBT community off the face of the earth. Wow. Really? It’s so difficult to put myself into that frame of mind. I don’t know that I can or if doing so would do any good.

All I know is I believe God is love. And while I also believe as soon as someone leaves their body they are one with pure unconditional love again, hateful killing is not in God’s plan. I want to look forward to my gay and lesbian friends being able to express themselves openly. I want them to be relaxed about being married or together in whatever way they decide is right for them.

So I support gun control. No one needs a machine gun. NO ONE.

That’s my opinion.

Trevor Noah Wisdom

Trevor Noah of The Daily Show on Comedy Central put into words one of the best arguments for gun control. I’ve heard the reasoning that mass shootings are not about the gun, but rather the person who is pulling the trigger that is to blame. I agree. But here’s where the reasoning not to control guns breaks down for me:

If it’s not the guns, then why in war is capturing or destroying arms compounds and ammunition dumps such a priority? Because if the “enemy” doesn’t have guns, they can’t kill our soldiers. So this anti gun-control lobby is not just about the right to bear arms. It’s selective. It’s about privilege, and profit, not just about who shoots the gun. I want it my way when it suits me but don’t ask me to be fair.

 

While I don’t know what goes on in the minds of the gun lobbyists and gun supporters, I vote for love. So I pray for them to let a deeper love than they have known before enter into their awareness. Love has always been there. Find balance. The right to bear arms should not get in the way of the right to live.

Does God Need Our Help?

I am smart but not smart enough to help God. Are you? Does God need our help? To set someone straight or shoot them because THAT’s supposed to solve the problem?

I am smart enough to continue to seek to know my inner Self which is a part of the Love that is in all creation. More than ever I want to listen for the small voice speaking to me when I get frantic or upset. This voice gently leads me to be kind to myself and others. It’s never in a hurry, never frantic, never judgmental nor unkind. It always leads me towards something better, never away from anything awful.

So while this newsletter has little to do with your wedding, I hope you can find that it does have to do with love. To love, we have to let go of trying to control the circumstances that are around us. The control we do have is how deeply we can listen for the voice of love and live our life from the inside to the outer, not the other way around.

Thank you for loving each other with your heart and not your head. And seriously considering gun control is part of the answer to making us safe.

 

There is a wonderful little park not far from my house in Williamsburg. It’s called Deepwater Point. This pine forest makes for a level hiking area which my knees and older dogs appreciate. There’s big roots that jut out along the paths, and lots of big tall pines. After traipsing through the woods, the path opens out onto a nice view of East Bay. When I need to be by the water to hear that lapping sound of the waves on the shore, or see the glitter of the sun on the surface, I’ll take Dutch and Reece there for our daily walk. An added bonus is we are usually the only domesticated animals around so I can let my four-leggeds run safely off leash.

Unseen Volunteers

When the storms of August 2015 hit, a large number of the big ol’ pines fell across the pathway. Within a month, volunteers cleared away the big logs so walking on the paths wasn’t so difficult. Just love those volunteers!

Before the path was cleared, those of us who wanted to walk the site made our own paths over stumps and around cracked and shattered branches. Because the repair was fairly quick, a new path wasn’t imprinted in the earth. Once the volunteers did their work, (and I never saw nor heard them) the old path was cleared and walking was easy again.

Making the Best of a New Way

In the spring of 2016, a huge tree split and fell across the same path. Only this time no volunteers appeared to clear the path. Over time, all of us hikers must have chosen the same new pathway because a route was carved around the tree and back onto the established path. We made the best of the problem and created a new way. That new way carried its own delights and surprises. For instance, little wild flowers sprang up in the area we can no longer walk on. It’s really quite lovely. The dogs like all the new areas to sniff out and well, you know, do their dog marking thing.

Paving a New Path

So I was likening the paving of a new path similar to you and your partner making a new life for yourselves as a married couple. Creatures of habit, we get used to things being the same. The way we behave and relate is very comfortable and reassuring. But inevitably, life can come crashing in on us. Sometimes we can fix whatever has gone awry. Part of the fix is having the opportunity to look at problems or obstacles from a new perspective. Walkers got to climb and wind around obstacles before the first bunch of trees were cleared away by the volunteers.

Then again there are times when no matter how hard we try to make something happen, it can’t be fixed. We have to accept the condition just as it is. Still, we have options. We can  complain and resist the change, or we can figure out as we go along, how to make our way. Changes like your best friend moving away or a steady job being lost. There are equally challenging path changers like loved ones passing on, bodies getting bigger or smaller, wisdom waning or people we expect to be there for us, NOT being there for us. Or children. Or fur babies taking half our paycheck. I know that one!! Challenges can force us to accept what is and then remind ourself we can handle together whatever comes along.

Eventually,  life hands us lots of challenges. But it also hands us blessings we didn’t know were coming, and opportunities we can either take or leave. Some will pull us off the path we thought we were on and liked, and others will set us in the middle of unfamiliar territory. We may feel lost or challenged more than we think we could bear.

You Will Figure It Out

But we have what it takes to figure it out. There is a spirit of love within us. It’s the same spirit that drew you and your partner together. Even though we might not be aware of who or what is helping us, a new path will be revealed. Like my unseen hiking buddies who helped make the new path, there are energies who go invisibly before us to help make our way. Our job is to just keep moving forward. Not give up because the path isn’t immediately clear or the people we wished would help us don’t or can’t.

You Have Each Other and Invisible Helpers

When you are married you are not alone. You have each other to help you through the changes life brings. You can encourage each other to trust the spirit within to inspire you, give you ideas and impulses that lead you in new directions and develop new skills. Even in the times you just can’t be there for one another, the spiritual energies are still available to help you. Our work is to let go of the path that was and trust the new path will appear. Be willing to risk by taking one step forward. And then another. We don’t have to know the whole path all at once.

But I am sure you will be shown a new path AND you will understand which way to go – together.