Most couples get married as they’re building their career. The kids are little. Bodies are changing. So you can get into a habit of passing each other by and not REALLY know what’s going on with each other.

So Commandment  #4 is about setting up a weekly relationship check in with each other.

Somewhat like dating, this is a time together that you guard with your life. It could be a ½ hour time period before you go to bed on a Friday night. Or over coffee on Sunday morning.

There’s 4 questions to ask of each other

1. What was the best thing that happened to you this week?
2. What was the worst thing that happened this week?
3. How can I be supportive of you this coming week?
4. What could I have asked you that I didn’t?

Any one of these can be a great conversation starter. But the important thing is each one and especially in combination are asking for the good and the bad, the past and the future.

This check in lets your partner know you have her or his back.

I’ve done this with my past boyfriends. And it works. It really gets those warm fuzzies going and sometimes even more…and I know you know what I mean!

Get into the Habit

To get into the habit of regularly doing a relationship check in, give yourselves a reward for making this commandment into a habit.

Donate $10 to your local animal shelter or volunteer for an hour at a favorite charity when you do it. Even if you add those volunteer hours or dollars up and do it once a month, that’s a great win.
Or one of you takes the dog out for a walk while the other takes a hot bath. 
Get a couple’s massage.
Give yourself a check on a fun graph you make and when you have 10 checks on the graph, go out to dinner or a movie.

The Commandment’s purpose is to keep the lines of communication open, to avoid getting into any habit of not paying attention to each other because of time or pressure.

And when this becomes a habit, well … you may get lucky more often.

Let me know how using this Commandment dedicated to your relationship check in goes! I’d love to hear from you! Contact me if you are looking for a professionally delivered and heart-felt ceremony for your wedding. 

Love to you,

Rev Crystal Y

#northernmichiganweddingofficiants

Lately I’ve been thinking about some of the over 5,000 big and small weddings either  my husband, Ken, or I officiated during the nine years we lived on Maui. (October, 1991 to March, 2000) Yes, we have stories about the gorgeous, unusual sites to the most interesting things that happened.

Friends suggest we should write a book. Maybe some day.

The Best Part

But the best part of these weddings was the couples we got to know and the intimacy established between them and us. We knew their stories, often the high and some of the low moments.  These special moments were about their deep love for one another and the life they were creating together.

Rather than Have a Big Affair

Sometimes they told us why they made the decision to come alone to Maui rather than have a big affair on the Mainland—complications from family or friends, health issues, and of course, money. Big weddings just became too much. 

A small wedding was the answer.

Soon as they remembered the wedding was really about the couple themselves, the answer was clear. Choose a beautiful, nurturing place; find the clergy person that fit their vision; pack their bags and go for it!

In Love with small weddings 

Now we live in another God-spot—exquisite, scenic Northern Michigan. We didn’t know we were moving to “paradise” again. Warm weather days & evenings are delightful, but now that we spend the entire year here, we are in love with the beauty and serenity of Winter.

Honored to be invited by Rev. Crystal Yarlott to join her in Little Weddings Everywhere, we have contracted with venues in the Charlevoix, Petoskey, and Boyne City areas. Most of these venues also have indoor rooms where you might marry by candle or fire light and watch the gentle snowflakes fall through the window.

This clearly is your special time for your perfect small wedding. No one and nothing will disrupt you. 

Our Invitation

Crystal, Ken and I invite you to check out Little Weddings Everywhere TC  & Little Weddings Everywhere NE.  For all four seasons, Contact Us and we’ll help you find the site that will fulfill your dreams of being a radiant couple in a warm, cozy, sacred setting.

 

We’re eager and honored to be part of your special small wedding in Northern Michigan!

Judy Grimes, Officiant for Little Weddings Everywhere North East

Find out more about Judy at NorthernMichiganMinisters.com

 

We have an easy to fill out Contact Us Form. We never sell or misuse your email address. No scoundrels will ever rip it from our hands. Promise!

copyright 2019 | Little Weddings Everywhere and Crystal Yarlott | Privacy Policy

Commandment #3 –Your marriage relationship is yours alone.

Together. It’s no one else’s.

Symbolism Contained in the Sand

One of the reasons I still love the Sand Ceremony is its symbolism. It’s not only the meaning of the grains of sand representing all the experiences, events, lessons and breakthroughs you’ve had in your life. What also strikes me about the Sand Ceremony is the uniqueness of the pattern that’s created when the two colors of sand blend.

I don’t know what other officiants say when they lead this ceremony, but I always emphasize how there’s no other combination like the one created by the two people standing before me.

To you I say, because no one else will live your life, reap the benefits of your choices as a couple nor suffer the consequences. It’s yours alone.

Together.

Your relationship belongs to you

If it’s clear you want to have children, you’ll have to endure thousands of questions about when the first little one will come.

You’ll have to negotiate endless holidays, birthdays and celebrations between both families.

When you’re renting your home, there will be many times you’ll be asked about buying your own home. “It means you’ve become a ‘real’ adult” some may even tell you.

Deciding whether to ask for money, loan money, invest or spend money – all these decisions are part of what makes your relationship unique.

Because you don’t have to be a wife and husband the way anyone else was. EVEN if you have great role models for parents, you NEVER know all the details of their relationship. You don’t KNOW what has gone on behind closed doors.

The Mind and Heart Together

But you can know what your mind, led by your heart, tells you to do. What direction to go in.

You have to listen and make yourself stop before you make decisions and ask yourselves, “Is this what’s right for us?”

The Decisions

When it’s YOUR relationship, this may mean you don’t go anywhere for Christmas this year.

Or you wait 5 years before you have children. Or you may adopt.

Renting may seem like the wiser decision for you and your partner.

The wife may have a male best friend. Mr. Husband may have a female best friend. Dogs may be your best friends.

One partner may be the high earner and the other not. If you’re in an opposite sex marriage, that could be woman=high earner and the man not so much.

Be prepared for those “when you gonna throw the bum out” remarks.

And letting your brother live at your house for 2 weeks and 2 weeks only may be the perfect decision for you.

 

Sweeping Purple Curves and Big Blobs

These are some of the issues and decision you make that will color your lives. Some days your choices will look like the sweeping purple curves of the sand in the middle of your Sand Ceremony vase. Other weeks you’ll feel like the blob of sand at the top.

But at the bottom, at the core of who you are as a couple, who you’re going to be together has mixed up all these amazing influences you’ve had over the years. The ones before you met, as you got to know each other and in all your tomorrows.

As long as you evaluate whatever advice comes your way, whatever movie you see, book you read and podcast you listen to by the marker, “Is this right for our relationship” and don’t settle for less, you’ll be ahead of the crowd.

 

Why would you look for all those years to find the person right for you and then try to fit yourself into a mold another couple made for their own marriage relationship?

That’s kinda silly, right?

You Are Unique From Start to Finish

Remember – you are unique. Your reason for being together in your marriage relationship will continue to be created, to unfold, to reveal itself to you. Just as the big lakes slap their watery hands on the back of a sandy beach, the days and hours of your lives together can try to wear you down.

But no. You two are your own persons. So is the relationship you create together.  

Revel in your uniqueness!

If I can help you have the kind of wedding ceremony that emphasizes your uniqueness, please fill out our nifty unique (LOL) Contact Us Form.

#northernmichiganweddingofficiants

 

Married Couple Commandment #1. You must keep dating. 

By the time your wedding rolls around, you will have a pile of memories to build on. A good Officiant will draw from those memories you’ve shared and set them out as a gift to your guests for them to draw on. 

Over time, this pool of memories gets used and worn. 

You must keep replacing these memories by making new ones. 

Make More Memories

Dating gave you the way to make memories. Remember the date you went on that led to the first kiss? The first time you made love? The time you left each other and knew you never wanted to be apart again?

You need new experiences as a married couple to make memories to draw from.If you don’t, you will wonder where that person you married went to. “But you used to…” is the sad refrain of people who aren’t growing together. 

So date.

Here’s What You Can Do

Pick a new place to explore or visit a place you both love in a different season. See who can name 10 cool details about it and then expand on them. 
Get on Pinterest or get a book like Simple Abundance or a fav author and choose some words of wisdom and discuss them. 
Go geocaching. 
Volunteer together. 
Dance barefoot to a drumbeat for 5 minutes and see how your playful selves come out to frolic (don’t you love that word frolic?? So how about writing a stream of consciousness story using the word frolic 20 times.)
Go to the library and pick out a book you think your mate will love. (Not what you think he or she should read). 

But fill the well of your love and appreciation for each other regularly. 

The Married Couple You Don’t Want to Become

If you don’t you may become the overweight couple sitting across from each other at a restaurant with a bored or sour look on their faces, not talking with each other. Looking at them makes YOU feel sad. 
And yes, I know. There’s no telling what else is going on in their life but you get what I’m saying, right?

Keep Your Love Alive and Well

Date. Keep your love alive. You’ve waited too long to find each other not to commit to doing what it takes to grow in love. 
And that is Married Couples Commandment #1. 
? 
Rev Crystal

To talk with us about your wedding ceremony, please Contact Us and fill out our oh so happy form.

Bay Mountain, Bay Mountain!

The Homestead Resort’s Top of Bay Mountain is one of my favorite wedding locations. When my couple chooses Bay Mountain for the site, I know everyone will be doubly awed. Not only by the couple’s love for each other (and the ceremony I’ve prepped for them  😆 ) but by the awesome  view. 

When people who’ve never experienced how beautiful Michigan is arrive at this site, the expansive view always knocks their socks off. Lake Michigan looks stunning from Bay Mountain!

The Homestead has been undergoing some remodeling and upgrading technology changes which is always exciting! Seeing the results of creative genius that’s generated from peoples’ vision is awesome. 

To support them, I’m featuring the photos of some of my couples in the past who’s ceremony I’ve officiated there. My wonderful couples — the ones who’ve shared the views and comforts of the Homestead Resort with friends from all over the United States.

The gracious couples who’ve had to give up that stunning, absolutely glorious Bay Mountain view of Lake Michigan. Why? Because the weather was too precarious to subject their guests to the wind and rain. Mother Nature at her most uncooperative! 

Every site has it’s beauty

But Mountain Flowers Lodge at the foot of Bay Mountain is amazing, inside and out!

Cafe Manitou is on the beach and is a very special place for smaller weddings.

Camp Firefly has a unique set up and a great, cozy feel. 

Then there’s the beach for very small weddings but you’ll get to put your toes in the sand and feel the Lake Michigan breeze!

And to those who have the taste for quality, romance and affection. To all my couples from the Homestead Resort and the honor of officiating for them, this is my homage to all of you.

For more information about weddings at the Homestead Resort click the link to be taken to their website: The Homestead Resort

Ready to connect with the right officiant for your wedding? Contact us and let’s see if we’re a match. We’d love the opportunity to discover your fun-loving vision. We’ll create a ceremony you’ll remember long into your happily-ever-after! Connect with us by clicking here:  CONTACT US  #northernmichiganweddingofficiants